"Let generosity be painted on this blog."

2008-05-14T20:40:00.003-06:00

The Franz Kafka Pen From Montblanc

Not sure how current a topic this is but it's new to me.

I like this pen and I dislike this pen.

I dislike the pen because it's a fucking rediculous idea. Franz Kafka's works weren't even supposed to be published (he wished them not to be) and a hoity toity fuck face of a company like Montblanc put's out a pen to "commemorate" him. Let me tell you something; when you hear the word "commemorate" it's just nothing more than a respectable word for merchandising the fuck out of someone who's been dead way too long to fucking sue you. What's next? Rolex gonna come out with a Christopher Marlowe edition wristwatch?

I like the pen because it's as nice as fuck and I can't afford it. I figure, if I own his Kafka's books, which he never wanted published in the first place, what's the harm in having that pen too? I know, I'm contradicting myself now. Okay, another reason I like the pen is cause it gives me a cheap thrill to walk into a snooty tootie store like La Swiss to ask them if they have the pen. They don't and then they ask "Who's Franz Kafka?" For once I can raise my nose at people like them. Kafka would have loved that!

2008-03-03T16:20:00.002-06:00

Holophonic Sound

I had the day off today and while surfing the net I was reminded of a virtual haircut recording that someone let me listen to once. I wanted to hear it again so I downloaded it off of limewire (search: virtual haircut.) Later on I found a whole bunch of other cool recordings too using bit torrent.

I was opened up to a whole new world today. The thing that makes me laugh is that this is such old technology yet it blows away any other surround sound system I've heard.

2008-02-16T23:22:00.003-06:00

Almost a fucking year!

Okay, been a almost a year now since my last post. I've been caught up in a lot of shit, some good and some bad. I think the main reason for the lack of posts is that I'm pretty much writing to myself. This blog gets virtually no traffic. It's very easy to lose interest. Gonna try this writing thing again. I find that when I'm writing my mind is on track.

It's been almost a year so I should have no trouble finding inspiration. Remnant’s of a year of discovery is coming your way. I'm gonna just keep writing, even if it's just to myself.

One new thing; I've adopted a nickname over the past year. I now like to go by Totò. I like it.

2007-05-06T10:39:00.000-06:00

I'm popular!

The stupid public has done it again. This time they have created a database that helps link names to faces and who those names and faces are associated with. Well okay, it wasn't just the stupid public alone, vanity did it's part too. Nevertheless, it was just that easy.

I was stupid enough to sign up too, but not stupid enough to post a picture of myself. I was a little more cautious after I signed up and it stormed my g-mail account to find other members for me (not knowing it was gonna do that) to alert them that I had signed up too.

For those of you who don't know; I'm talking about Facebook.

2007-04-14T17:35:00.000-06:00

It's Saturday Night.

I turn on my television and change the channel to CBC only to find Tampa Bay playing New Jersey. So much for "Hocky Night in Canada."

2007-04-11T11:09:00.000-06:00

This Means War!

Domenic A. Nikkanic has written a new letter to Wendy's. This could get ugly:

http://www.fartistic.com/wendystwo.pdf

To read more Nikkanic letters visit: http://www.fartistic.com

2006-12-31T11:27:00.000-06:00

A good old fashioned modern day hangin, yeehaw!

I'm always a couple of days behind when it comes to world events. This is due to the fact that I don't watch the news. If I did watch the news I'd be about two years behind on world events.

Apparently, they hung this Saddam Hussein fellow yesterday or the day before. I caught video footage of it on You Tube. As I watched I couldn't help but think that what I was seeing was the most widely watched snuff film/video in history. Of course there is no clear definition of what constitutes a snuff film/video, but if you go by most descriptions, the footage I saw definitely fell into the snuff film/video category. This was worst of ways to end a year.

A good portion of humankind has lost respect for many things over the past hundred years. Some have now hit rock bottom. Some have now even lost respect for death. Without respect for death, there is no respect for life.

My biggest hope for 2007 is that hunankind redeems at least some of what it has lost along the way.

P.S. I feel stupid for even having to say this, but there are those who misinterpret even the simplest of statements: What I have written is in sympathy of humankind, not in sympathy of Saddam Hussein.

2006-12-30T12:19:00.000-06:00

A New Years Revolution.

It's that time of year, when self centered assholes make empty promises to themselves.

This year I suggest a different approach; Think of bettering the world and people around you instead. At least then there will be no shame in failure. Well, just as long as you make an honest attempt.

2006-12-30T12:15:00.000-06:00

You can hide but you can't post.

No more anonymous posting on this blog. In order to post you must be registered.

Valve Geek, I should have taken your advice earlier.

Thanks.

2006-12-03T10:56:00.000-06:00

Fellini on a Sunday Afternoon.

Saturday night was a waste. Sunday I sit on my couch observing that magic and surreality I longed for the night before.

The only way to live your dream life is to live life like a dream. Yes, it’s that simple, but also that difficult.

Those who don’t dream don’t live. They’re just counting off seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years, decades, and centuries. That’s if they even have that long. This is what I think of as I watch Fellini films on a Sunday afternoon.

2006-12-01T16:43:00.000-06:00

A New Nikkanic Letter:

It's been almost a year since Domenic A. Nikkanic picked up his pen and wrote a letter to an unsuspecting corporation or celebrity. Well, the wait is over (because there are so many of you waiting.) Today he sent out a letter to the Pepsi Cola Corporation.

The New Nikkanic Letter:

http://www.fartistic.com/pepsico.pdf

Old Letters can be found at:

http://www.fartistic.com (Click on "The Nikkanic Letters")

Enjoy!

2006-12-01T13:34:00.000-06:00

Ghostfinger

Last night I went down to The Silver Dollar Saloon with a few friends. We went down to go check out a friend of a friend’s band that was performing. I wasn't planning on staying long, just watch his set and take off.

While out on the back patio having a smoke with friends and talking about Robert Smigel Cartoons, a tall lanky dude wearing a poorly cut suit eased his way into our conversation. After a bit of chit chatting it turns out that he was from Tennessee and with the headlining band "Ghostfinger." Just from him describing is band (by not really being able to) Me and my friends decided to stay longer and listen to his bands set. Fuck, they came all the way from Tennessee just to play some empty shit hole. It was the least we could do.

Long story short; they were indescribable and flat out amazing. You have to hear them for yourselves to understand.

Pick up their CD (been listening to it all day) or just give them a listen:
http://www.ghostfinger.com

2006-11-22T13:16:00.000-06:00

A Message to The Apple Pickers.

I like to call myself a Graphic Designer. It's been a pretty big hobby of mine since the age of seventeen or so. Occaisionally it has been a source of side income for me.

Aside from a couple basic courses in college I'm pretty much self taught and very damn proud of it. The thing is that every once and awhile my pride gets attacked by an arrogent/ignorant Mac user. They laugh at the fact that I design on a PC. It's happened a handful of times, mostly when I worked for Carbon Computing (a Toronto Apple dealer). My response to their laughter has always been that I couldn't afford a Mac.

Today I still can't afford a Mac (at least not a decent one) but I would like to change my past response. My new response is something more like; "because Macs are for stupid mother fuckers who can't handle a sophisticated user interface. Not that Microsoft Windows is the greatest operating system in the world, but you have to admit that it takes a little bit more brains to use than the Mac OS. For fucks sake the Mac OS looks like something you'd see on a childs Leapfrog computer. Also any program I use to design with comes in both Windows and Mac format. Oh and one last thing; don't you look at me or talk to me again you fucking clown. Cause If you do, I'll shove that fucking I-Pod of yours up your left nostril, pull the headphoes out from your right noststril, and listen to your Cake and James Blunt mp3's as you cry like the little bitch you are."

2006-11-20T14:25:00.001-06:00

Vagabonds.

I lit up a cigarette, sat on a milk crate and watched the pigeons perched on the rooftops above. No bread crumbs on the pavement below for them to fight over at the moment. They just sit and I too sit watching them. Then for some strange reason (or no reason at all) they all decide to take fight at the exact same moment. They just take off, make a quick u-turn and land on the same rooftoop they were just on. They repeat this every twenty minutes or so.

Once and awhile, one or two of them might break away from the flock and hang out on a not too distant rooftop. I thought there might have be some sort of significance to that action, but I was wrong. They rejoin the flock the next time they all take off.

2006-11-20T12:41:00.000-06:00

Band Names

Considering the success of The Killers, I would like to offer these names to up and coming bands who are having trouble trying to come up with that perfect name:

The Manslaughterers (for a band with a little softer sound then The Killers)
The Drug Dealers
The Statutory Rapists
The Mattress Tag Rippers
The Aiders and Abetters to Securities Fraud
The War Criminals
The Identity Thieves
The Masturbators (or The Jerk-Offs)

2006-11-09T22:15:00.000-06:00

There is no cute title for this post.

When I first started this blog I was posting some pretty damn witty shit. I was even impressing myself. From breaking comedy down to a mathematic equation to writing a eulogy for a fruit fly, I was on fire. Now, this blog has transformed into some lame fucking journal (cause diary’s are for homo’s) in which I occasionally write about how I dislike french Canadians.

I don’t know what the fuck happened. I guess it’s because summer was getting closer. Could that be possible? Could the heat limit my creativity? Maybe I’m more creative when it’s like minus forty and my nut sack is shriveled up?

Maybe it’s all that worry about my credit card debt. Constantly worrying about making those monthly fucking payments. Getting those annoying phone calls. When one thought lays heavy in your mind, is it possible that it can squash all the others?

To keep it short; I’m gonna make an effort to put more effort into my posts. No more of this I hate french Canadians or Nacho Libre is a good movie crap.

2006-10-16T17:42:00.000-06:00

Nacho Libre (Inspired by the Mexican Lucha Libre cult classic films)

I've seen it about twenty times now (once in the theatre and about 19 times on bootleg). It's Jack Black's best performance to date.

I'll admit that yes, it is one of those films that only about 5% of the people that watch it will enjoy, but that's what makes it so great. It's a film inspired by a cult classic and intended for a cult audience. I'm sure many of the people who trashed this film went into the theatre expecting a brainless Wedding Crashers or American Pie type of humour. That's because they're all unimaginative. If you're one of those people, you don't understand Nacho Libre and that's why you didn't find it great.

You have to really understand where Jack Black is going with this character. In order to understand, you have to not take the film so seriously and really know what it's like to be a grown up still chasing childhood dreams.

Those who do understand will agree with me that it has dark and light laughs, heroic action, and yes a few tear jerking moments. Not to mention incredible direction by Jared Hess (Napoleon Dynamite).

Nacho Libre is the best Amercian film of 2006 (most years I wouldn't even have one to pick). I think it's high time that intelligent comedies get the fucking credit they deserve.

2006-10-07T13:55:00.000-06:00

Rare Shit.

What if the Government decided to ban the smell of shit? Let's say somehow, via the magic of science they were able to eliminate the odor of shit from the face of the planet. Would there then be a sort of underground demand for the smell of shit? Would stanky ass shit be as precious and valuable as say something like diamonds? I believe it would.

(get ready for the predictable pun)

Think about that shit. (there it is)

2006-09-22T17:58:00.000-06:00

Konichiwa Bitches!

Okay, had the new Method Man album a listen and it's pretty damn good. I mean it's not all great, but considering the fucking garbage spewing out the stereo's of suped up honda civics and accords nowadays, it's pretty good. Glad to see Meth was capable of mustering up some of the skill he had in his earlier days.

Yes, this is just another one of those unimaginative posts I've been spewing out lately.

2006-08-30T22:46:00.000-06:00

Is this is the best thing I can come up with?

I've been kind of slow with the blog posting the past few months. I'm not going through a block or anything like that. It's just plain old apathy if anything.

My apathy has led me to posting this:

Celebrities who share the same birthday as me (September 21st).

Bill Murray
Ethan Coen
Stephen King
Leonard Cohen
Liam Gallagher
H.G. Wells

If I get any more apathetic I'll soon be posting a list of celebrities who died on my birthday. At least that will have a kind of sullen feel to it.

2006-08-18T10:24:00.000-06:00

The worlds smallest accordion playing pour vous.

Yes, you guessed it, another blog post about a french cry baby. I know it's getting old, but these french assholes just won't stop crying.

Who is it this time? Jaques Villeneuve; a spoiled little frenchman who has spent his whole life following in his fathers footsteps only to fail miserably time after time.

Who or what is he crying about? Seven time world champion Michael Schumacher.

Why is he crying about Michael Schumacher? No other reason besides the fact that Jaques Villeneuve is a jealous little crybaby Frenchman. He lost his ride with yet another team (this time BMW-Sauber) and now he has decided without good reason (and quite distastefully I might add) to lash out on one of the greatest drivers of all time.

Link to related article:
http://www.tsn.ca/auto_racing/news_story/?ID=174481&hubname=auto_racing

Look at that photograph they used for the article too. It looks like something out of a Truffaut film. One film in particular comes into mind: The 400 Blows.

Mon dieu ce qui un resemblence saisissant! (My god what a striking resemblance!)

*For those of you who don’t know, that youngster on the left is Antoine Doinel, a character from the film: The 400 Blows. His character resorted to ignorance and petty crime due to a lack of attention. On the right is Jaques Villineuve who also due to a lack of attention has resorted to ignorance and since no team in their right mind will ever sign him again, he will most likely have to resort to petty crime.

2006-07-26T12:44:00.000-06:00

Bread and Circuses

I’m not for censorship, but I’m also not for the exploitation of the less fortunate.

It's a sad sick world when the next up and coming documentary/reality video trend is watching drug addicts and homeless people fist fight and degrade themselves for money.

A few years ago I saw one of these DVD's sitting on a store shelf (Future Shop) and was disgusted by the idea. Today I'm even more disgusted with the fact that these videos have grown in popularity.

I won't mention the source of these videos. They've gotten enough publicity from a shocked and very stupid American media. Yes, stupid! Very stupid! The American media is just as at fault as the cowardly fucks who make these videos. CNN and whoever else that had done stories on the “shocking and controversial” nature of these videos only added fuel to the fire. Let’s not forget the politicians who tried to ban these videos, because that has worked oh so well in the past.

Sometimes I think it’s all planned, you know? It’s like the government and media work together to desensitize and distract people. Maybe the American media and goverment are not as stupid as I think? Ah who am I kidding? We all know the government and media don’t work together (sarcasm).

Ever hear of the phrase “Bread and Circuses?”

No?

Wikipidia describes “Bread and Circuses” as:

A derogatory phrase which can describe either government policies to pacify the citizenry, or the shallow, decadent desires of that same citizenry. In both cases, it refers to low-cost, low-quality, high-availability food and entertainment, and to the exclusion of things which the speaker considers more important, such as art, public works projects, democracy, or human rights.

Think about it.

2006-07-25T16:21:00.000-06:00

Just watched a cam of Clerks II.

I'll write circles around Kevin Smith. Go direct another Degrassi episode you homo.

That's all I have to say.

2006-07-11T16:37:00.000-06:00

Just when I thought the french couldn't possibly become bigger cry babies...

Zinedine Zidane smears a big shit stain on his career and now all the other french cry babies are trying to clean it up for him by flooding the internet with their fucking ignorance.

All over the internet people are making excuses for Zidane's short temper. Fuck him, he intentionally head-butt Marco Materazzi in the chest. It doesn't matter what Materazzi said to provoke him. Zidane acted like a little bitch and gave Materazzi a cheap shot. End of story. C'est la vie, you smelly bastards!

FORZA ITALIA!

2006-06-12T23:44:00.000-06:00

Re: hello

Who are these people that still believe e-mail spamming is an effective means of advertising? A very strange breed of people they are, whoever they are. They have to be mostly comprised of baby boomers. At least that’s what I guess. I can picture one of these asshole’s sitting down in a franchised sports bar of some sort, drinking a nine dollar glass of wine that came from a six dollar bottle, and speaking loudly so others in earshot can hear (as if they’re going to be impressed) about how they just e-mailed two thousand people an ad for Cialis.

Yeah, the orders should be flying in anytime soon. You’ll finally be able to quit your job that you’re twenty-eight years into, divorce your husband/wife for that trophy husband/wife you’ve been mentally masturbating to for the past two decades, and develop a trendy coke habit.