Playing Texas Hold Em doesn’t make you a man. Having a Penis makes you a man.

It’s been awhile since my last post. I don’t know, I guess I’ve just been too lazy to write. For the last couple of weeks my days have been filled with just sitting on my ass and watching movies I’ve been meaning to see for years. Some Akira Kurosawa, a little Man Bites Dog, (the French can occasionally be funny) and some other films not worth naming.

My evenings have been filled with other mundane activities. Most of those activities are not worth mentioning.

Why? What for? Who the fuck cares? It’s boring bullshit. Why would you want to read about that stuff? See this is exactly why I haven’t felt like writing. The crap I’ve written in the paragraphs above (that’s if that second thing there is actually a paragraph. I’m not sure about the minimum amount of sentences needed to make a paragraph. I have no concept of writing structure. Structure is for fucking architects okay. I write to amuse minds similar to mine. And a mind similar to mine doesn’t give a fuck about structure. Stop following the blueprints and learn to enjoy watching things crumble to pieces. It’s just so much more fun that way. Fuck perfect grammar and prose or whatever. Nowadays there’s just too much fucking emphasis placed on communication. Flatulence, yes flatulence, now there’s a form of communication. Does anything come across more clearly than flatulence? Right now you’re wondering if I’m under the influence of some illegal substance. No I don’t touch the stuff. Whatever it is you call the stuff you think I’m on. The only thing that fuels my brain as I write this gibberish is boredom. Well boredom and just the right amount of blood flow to keep the brain functioning properly. Whatever properly means. Fuck I’m really considering throwing in the towel on this piece of writing and just starting afresh. It’s madness. Look at how much nonsense I have crammed in between these two brackets. Will anybody get this? Is it even supposed to mean anything? Will anybody care if it does mean anything? I’ll be honest with you and say that I have no fucking clue. Actually I should stop saying “I’ll be honsest with you” cause it might lead people to believe that I’m a liar. I’m a fraud. A fake. A phony. A pokerfaced two headed coin. Pokerfaced two headed coin? What the fuck is that all about? Gotta admit it sounded cool though. I hate poker. I play but I hate it so much. I don’t even know why I play. I’m no good at it. It’s not really the thinking part it’s actually the whole poker face thing. Maybe that’s why actors and celebrities love the game so much. When you boil it all down poker is pretty much just acting with colourful que cards dictating your emotions. I think, it’s late and I’m not even sure if I’m making sense anymore. Sir Laurence Olivier must have been an awesome poker player. Ah fuck it. It’s macho bullshit. Look at the name Texas Hold Em. The game sounds like a fucking John Wayne movie. A mans game. Look at me, I’m sitting at a table holding cards decorated with fancy illustrations, blah blah blah. Then there’s all the fucking denial. “Oh I’m not a serious player. I just occasionally play with my friends.” Friends? Let me tell you something a not so wise gambler once told me: there’s no such thing as friends when you sit down at a card table. If you play for money that is. He was not so wise but that’s one of the most truthful fucking things I’ve ever heard someone say. Friends play for fun. When one says “lets make it interesting” and everyone agrees, your not making it interesting, you’re making it profitable. Cause when you play for money you’re not sitting there thinking “oh this is interesting” you’re thinking “I want that money.” I’m not preaching. I’m just telling it how it is. Gambling is bullshit. You and your friends should go out for ice cream or see a movie instead. That’s what friends should really be doing.) is the same crap I read on other peoples blogs that puts me to sleep.

I’ll try not to ever write anything like this again. As I was writing this I came to the realization that even something chaotic has structure. Everything has a structure to it even if you intend for it not to have one. Even if you try with all your might to make the biggest mess you can possibly make. As long as there are thoughts and action as a result of those thoughts involved, there is structure. Structure is unavoidable. Think about it. But don’t think about great examples of structure. Don’t think about a building, a bridge , a song or a piece of writing. Instead think of the greatest mess you’ve ever seen in your life. Remember how it came to be or how you imagined that it came to be.

Blah.
I’m going to sleep.