Masters and Their Slaves

They (corporations) more or less tell us what we (slaves) need, so we (slaves) agree with them (corporations) and run out and buy what they (corporations) tell us (slaves) we (slaves) need. Okay, maybe they (corporations) don’t directly tell us (slaves) what we (slaves) need, but rather indirectly suggest what we (slaves) need. Nevertheless, you (slave) can’t say we (slaves) aren’t ignorant. We (slaves) all know what’s going on and so do they (corporations). We (slaves) just like having cool shit we (slaves) don't really need. It comforts our (slaves) insecurities, we (slaves) know it and they (corporations) know it even better than us (slaves).

Happy Belated Birthday Jesus!

Shit, sorry dude, I really meant to call. I just got so caught up in opening gifts, eating Pannatone, and getting shitfaced that I completely forgot about you. You know how it is. Here's a card, some crystal candle holders, and a fruitcake. It's a good fruitcake too, it's the one with the white icing on top. Re-gifts? No, no, I wouldn't do something like that!

Anyways, if I don't see you, have yourself a wonderful new year. What's that? You're getting crucified in April? I'm sure we'll hook up before that, if not give me a call after you resurrect. Later dude!

Fountain Soda Pop.

I prefer fountain soda pop. I hate drinking regular soda pop. It's just too sweet and gassy. I actually like to poor a can of regular soda pop into my 7-11 cups at home (I keep them because they're perfectly good cups) and dilute it with a bit of water. I'm not scientific about it eithor, I don't measure it out with a graduate cylinder or anything like that. I just add water, take a sip and just guess how much more dilution is required. That method usually works just fine.

21st Century Masters

These are some of the most brilliant lyrics I've ever heard. 50 Cent and Young Buck are truly 21st century masters. I bet if you traveled back in time and gave Puccini or Verdi a mic and a turn table they could never come up with shit this brilliant.

Artist: 50 Cent f/ Young Buck
Album: Get Rich or Die Tryin' Soundtrack
Song: I'll Whip Ya Head Boy

[Chorus 2x]
I'll whip yo head boy!!
You know I will....
I'll whip yo head boy!!
Wit tha back of the steel....
I'll whip yo head boy!!
Yo cap could get peeled....
I'll whip yo head boy!!
Yo ass could get killed....

[50 Cent]
Two niggaz in the front, two niggaz in the back
That's four niggaz ridin strapped in grandpa's cadillac
The voice in my head say "Fuck all these niggaz"
Then I start thinkin.... "I should rob all these niggaz"
Man my homies, they wan' do whatever I wan' do
I say I wanna eat, they say "Shit we wan' eat too"
Let's ride around, find a nigga stuntin' on front street
Wit the shines on, niggaz be lookin like lunch meat
I run up on a nigga, pop one on the floor
Tell em' come up off that shit fore' we start poppin some more
Fuck a ski-mask, man niggaz know who I is
I got a full clip and, niggaz know I gets biz

[Chorus 2x]

[50 Cent]
I'm up early in the morning, tryna make a move
You comin in when ya shorty take ya lil one to school
Even though she caused the drama, you love ya baby mama
I hit her wit the lama, to get this cake
Give us the coke, the cash, the combo to the safe
If she don't know it...Damn! ok we'll wait
I'll play wit yo kid on the couch while ya bitch on the phone
Wit the gun to her head sayin "Daddy come home"
You was rollin poppin bubbly, didn't think it get ugly
Had the whole shit is lovely until it go bad
Now you can pray for a miracle, and God might be hearing you
And the nine'll jam, right in my hand

[Chorus 2x]

[Young Buck]
Ooooh!
I got his homies screamin "Buck you need to calm down"
Niggaz be gettin killed everytime you come around (Yeah!)
We ran up in his crib, made his momma kiss the ground
She askin God "What my baby done did now?"
I'm taking everything, jewelry, I want it all
Duck tape him up, rip the phone cords out the wall (Give me that nigga!)
Fuck waitin, we gon' start waitin on tomorrow (Huh!)
So ask satan if he got a car that I can borrow
I'm impatient like a money hungry rap star
Jack him for his chain and I can get a new jaguar (Whoa!)
The mac'll have his brains all over the fuckin sidewalk
And I'mma be on CNN again, it ain't my fault
March nigga step! (Step!)
Right nigga left! (Left!)
G-Unit soldier, I'm thuggin to my death motherfucker!

[Chorus 2x]

Get Rich or Die Trying? Why don't you get Lost and try dying instead?

You suck!

I feel like singing.

I've provided the lyrics so you can sing along too:

MARIA MARI'

Aràpete fenesta
famm' affaccià a Maria,
ca stongo mmiez' 'a via
speruto p' 'a vedè.

Nun trovo n'ora 'e pace
'A nott' 'a faccio juorno,
sempe pe st ccà attuorno
speranno 'e ce parlà!

Oj Mari', oj Mari'!
Quanta suonno ca perdo per te!
Famm' addurmì
abbracciato nu poco cu te!
Oj Marì, oj Marì!
Quanta suonno ca pero pe' te!
Famm' addurmì,
Oj Mari', oj Mari'!

Pare ca già s'arape
na senga 'e fenestella
Maria ca na manella
nu segno a me me fa!

Sona, chitarra mia!
Maria s' è scetata
Na bella serenata
facimmela sentì!

Oj Mari', oj Mari'!
Quanta suonno ca perdo per te!
Famm' addurmì
abbracciato nu poco cu te!
Oj Marì, oj Marì!
Quanta suonno ca pero pe' te!
Famm' addurmì,
Oj Mari', oj Mari'!

That was so much fun. Did I sound alright? I thought I heard my voice cracking a bit. You were great! You sang like an angel.

No, really, I do.

I honestly think it's about fucking time pens, pencils and paper came with a keyboard, a monitor and a printer. Will someone please invent a tiny printer for P.D.A.'s, so I can tear it out of the hands of some asshole and smash him in the face with it?

My Self Esteem is Four Quarts Low.

Why can’t you just hate me?
Then maybe I could stop pretending I hate you.
Then maybe I would have the nerve to look you in the eye for more than a split second.

This is a fear of rejection very few understand and I know all too fucking well.

Yes, my self-esteem is four quarts low.
I know that cause I’m such a fucking dipstick.